this is bambient;

sometimes i can be a little overly suspicious of people, as though they must want something from me which is why they're being nice. i mean there's many people who i know really well and are genuinely lovely, but when someone i barely talk to or know starts to be 'nice' to me, i usually assume they want to use me in some way. and usually i'm right.
for example, about two months ago, a guy i knew from primary school messaged me yet again on facebook. he'd messaged me a few times before and had been trying to get me to go to him house and join his 'business' (it's a scam. i know scams when i see them and probably understand the business side of a multi layered company like that better than he claims to). suddenly he was asking me about his birthday party at a club. i considered being nice to him but since nice hadn't worked for a long time, i decided to just be straight and be a bitch. so what did i basically say to him?

no, i'm not going to your birthday party. i don't know you, i haven't seen you since i was eleven and frankly only know you as the boy who once creeped up behind me to touch my ass. you creep me out and you're annoying, i don't like you.

so maybe he just wanted to know whether i was going so he could sort out his rsvps, but seriously, it's your birthday. don't invite your whole freaking friends list, especially when some of the people (like me) literally have no reason at all to like you. the other time this happened was with a boy who had never spoken to me throughout high school and suddenly decided to talk to me.

well, there was two but at least one was honest enough to say that he thought i changed and looked different, but never paid attention to me in school. the other had the guts to rattle on about how:

• he was nervous to talk to me
• he thought i was too good to be his friend
• he was sad and depressed
• he thinks i'm 'hot' and should go clubbing with him
• he wants to go out and meet up

it's like: you serious mate? you serious?

freaking shove it up your ass, as if use depression as an excuse. he's so full of crap and i was offended enough that he would pretend to have a mental disorder to try and get in my pants, but then he just bugs me over and over. have you ever had a guy message you constantly even when you've given him about a thousand signs that you don't want to talk to him? and then you stop replying to his text messages and he keeps texting you until you reply. so what did i send him that one time?

stop texting me. in all honesty you creep me the heck out and i don't want to talk to you.

maybe i'm rude and maybe i'm a little too honest sometimes, but is it so wrong when it's the only way to get someone to leave you alone?